At some point I was certain that I am happy living my life without friends. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t intend on socially excluding myself but rather to draw the line at acquaintance.
Being a social butterfly of note (that’s what I like think of myself) – it should come as no surprise that the decision to keep my distance was provoked.
We often hear that women make for the worst friends, that we just hate on each other and grab any opportunity to back stab one another. Well I sure as hell got bit, not once but plenty of times by “friends”
So can we be trusted as friends…?
I remember friends (three to be exact) hooking up with my then steady, I still call them friends because to this day they thing we are cool…um-mm NO, just because I didn’t confront you doesn’t mean I don’t know what you did. When I was getting married I remember inviting friends who I thought where dear to me and I to them ( as this was an intimate wedding), only to have them not pitch. But in their defense they did politely send texts declaring their unavailability. What was brutal was hearing the behind the scenes chitter chatter that took place, you know the one they thought I would never hear.
“It’s too far why would she have it there?”
“Why would she give us such short notice?”
“Why would she have such a small wedding?’
“I could go but argg… I don’t feel like it”
Well some just chose to ignore the invite as a whole.
I was angry, then I was hurt and then I was perfectly okay and yes they too think we are still friends…ummmm NO just because I didn’t confront you doesn’t mean I was not aware but I have forgiven.
While thinking about staring my business, I had friend blowing smoke up my you know what and telling me to go for it… but the second I took the jump support truly came from 8 peers. I again took a leap to host an event; oh boy was that a disaster( but that’s for another day). I had confirmations left right and center my “friends” included the very same ones who shouted from the roof tops about how awesome it would be, but come event night …they where nowhere to be seen. Some bothered to give excuses others just dropped off like flies. Again these ladies think we are “friends”…um-mm NO just because I didn’t confront you does not mean I am blind but I have forgiven.
It was through such experiences that I consciously made the decision not to have friends.
So do females live up to the stereotype?
Fact is we have all been deeply hurt by “friends” , in fact you are thinking of your own hurts as you read this; you may wonder why I never said anything to these “friends”, or how I could forgive them?
- The stereotype about women making the worst of friends is hogwash! what soon became real to me is that our values and principles are simply different. I am that friend who will not sneak with your man, or talk BS behind your back -actually I am that friend who will go psycho in your absence to defend you but maturity has allowed me to understand that we are not the same and to keep company with those who share similar values.
- “Friends” come and go – be open to letting go and embracing change.
- Remember that hurt is sometimes the best way to discover our strengths.
- It is true people will hurt you and when nasty lays its egg in your nest just remember you have one responsibility and that is to make sure that you are OK.
- Pick your confrontations, when someone has wronged you very often they are aware so you needn’t waste your energy.
- Forgive, forgive and forgive, this brings you greater peace but most importantly it messes with their psyche LOL.
PS. I do have friends, I just wrote off a few.
Her Intuition 